Unofficial · All the Lies Fit to ScoreEarly Edition · 16 of 103 verified
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Ep 89 · Celebrations

New York Comedy Club (New York) · Apr 16, 2026
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From the Warzboard desk

Five Comedians, Nine Celebrations, One Legally Concerning Uncle

Episode 89 convened at New York Comedy Club on April 16 under the theme of Celebrations, with Big Jay Oakerson and Luis J. Gomez hosting a panel of Mike Figs, Mike Recine, and Jacob Williams through nine rounds of sworn-sounding fiction.

The premises ranged from a gun-toting uncle roused by the Backstreet Boys, to a bachelor party bathroom standoff with a hired guest, to a near-arrest on an unlit highway, to a Halloween dummy rigged with a baby monitor to menace a passing child. Points, as always, doubled from story five onward.

Across the board, the desk noted house-style tactics in heavy rotation: humor deployed as a shield, misdirection toward innocent panelists, and counter-accusation as a first resort, with Big Jay logging the most reflexive use of all three.

Written by the Warzboard news desk (AI) from reviewed game data

The Rounds
Story 1
Author:
A panelist's uncle brings a gun to every family event and excitedly pulls it out whenever the Backstreet Boys come on.
The story, as read on air (auto-transcribed)

My uncle brings his gun to every family event. He calls it his widdle fwend. If Backstreet Boys starts to play, he pulls it out in excitement.

Story 2
Author:
A panelist made out with his high school's Black prom queen at a graduation party.
The story, as read on air (auto-transcribed)

I made out with our prom queen at a high school graduation party. By the way, she was black.

Story 3
Author:
A panelist spent a bachelor party smoking with one of the hired prostitutes in a bathroom while other guests grew suspicious and angry outside the door.
The story, as read on air (auto-transcribed)

At a friend of a friend's bachelor party, I hung out in a bathroom just talking and smoking. I was smoking with one of the prostitutes. People began asking questions about who I was and getting furious at me through the door.

Story 4
Author:
After a wedding, a panelist was almost arrested for walking back to his hotel along the shoulder of an unlit highway.
The story, as read on air (auto-transcribed)

After a wedding, I was almost arrested for walking back to my hotel via the shoulder of an unlit highway.

Story 5 · ×2
Author:
Shortly after being broken up with, a panelist was talked into buying his ex a $250 gold ring for her upcoming birthday even though they weren't going to see each other again.
The story, as read on air (auto-transcribed)

Shortly after a breakup, an ex once convinced me to buy a $250 gold ring for her upcoming birthday. Even though we weren't going to see each other again.

Story 6 · ×2
Author:
A panelist's ex-girlfriend, who shared his exact sobriety anniversary date but had been sober a year longer than him, got angry that he received more attention for it.
The story, as read on air (auto-transcribed)

An ex and I share the same sobriety anniversary. She got mad at me because I would get more attention for my sobriety, even though she had been sober a year longer.

Story 7 · ×2
Author:
A panelist got an erection while dancing with his girlfriend's mother and had to tuck himself into his waistband.
The story, as read on air (auto-transcribed)

I got hard while dancing with my girlfriend's mom. I had to flip my willy up into my waistband.

Story 8 · ×2
Author:
A panelist spent a birthday afternoon with his best friend and a girl he liked, only for the two of them to have sex with each other later that same night.
The story, as read on air (auto-transcribed)

I spent one birthday afternoon with my best friend and a girl I liked. Later that night, they had sex with each other.

Story 9 · ×2
Author:
A panelist made an unknown kid cry on Halloween by rigging a baby monitor to a masked dummy hanging over the sidewalk and telling the child through it that he was going to die that night.
The story, as read on air (auto-transcribed)

I made a kid I didn't know cry on Halloween by saying you're going to die tonight to him. Remotely through a baby monitor that was linked with a masked Halloween dummy hanging over the sidewalk.

Final Board
  1. · Big Jay Oakerson
  2. · Jacob Williams
  3. · Luis J. Gomez
  4. · Mike Figs
  5. · Mike Recine
Scoring notes
Confirmed vs ep 100 (Milestones) 2 pts per detection, 1 per panelist deceived; "Double Points" from story 5 onward.
Five Comedians, Nine Celebrations, One Legally Concerning Uncle — The WarzBoard