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Ep 91 · Toys

New York Comedy Club (New York) · Apr 30, 2026
Official upload, GaS Digital — no audio or video hosted here

From the Warzboard desk

Toys Special Turns Childhood Nostalgia Into Interrogation Room

Episode 91 of Story Warz convened at New York Comedy Club under the theme of Toys, with hosts Big Jay Oakerson and Luis J. Gomez joined by Kim Congdon, Uncle Lazer, and Sam Roberts for eight rounds of contested childhood testimony.

The docket ranged wide: a bedroom-terrorizing clown doll, a phone-sex operator's guided craft project involving a paper towel roll, a Christmas white-elephant game that ended in a shotgun brawl, a soda-water poisoning attempt over video games, habitual gift-receipt requests on adult wrestling-figure purchases, a mother's back massager with an undisclosed second function, elaborately staged toy romances, and a birthday mannequin head modeled on wrestler Al Snow's 'Head' gimmick.

Written by the Warzboard news desk (AI) from reviewed game data

The Rounds
Story 1
Author:
A clown doll (actually the author's Ronald McDonald doll) sat in the author's childhood bedroom and terrified them at night even though they could have simply moved it.
The story, as read on air (auto-transcribed)

There was a clown doll in my childhood bedroom that used to keep me awake at night with its terrifying stare. I could have moved it whenever I wanted to. But I just accepted it every night.

Story 2
Author:
As a young child calling a 900-number phone sex line, the author was talked through building a homemade sex toy (a 'fee-fee') out of a paper towel roll and lotion.
The story, as read on air (auto-transcribed)

When I was a young child, I was taught in detail how to make a sex toy by an adult.

Story 3
Author:
After a grandfather died without a will, the author's family divvied up his estate in a white-elephant/Yankee-swap game at Christmas, and the author came to blows with two relatives over a repeatedly re-stolen shotgun.
The story, as read on air (auto-transcribed)

I once fought two different relatives at family Christmas for stealing my white elephant gift too many times.

Story 4
Author:
As a kid, the author put dish soap in a friend's soda water hoping he would die so the author could keep his new video games — the friend's stomach had to be pumped.
The story, as read on air (auto-transcribed)

When I was a kid, I once poisoned my best friend's soda water with dish soap in hopes they would pass on and I could have their new video games.

Story 5 · ×2
Author:
The author routinely asked for gift receipts when buying wrestling toys/action figures for themselves as an adult.
The story, as read on air (auto-transcribed)

I asked for gift receipts at stores for toys that I was buying for myself.

Story 6 · ×2
Author:
As a kid the author used their mother's back/shoulder massager, not realizing she also used it as a vibrator, and later it was passed down to the author to use the same way.
The story, as read on air (auto-transcribed)

I used my mother's massager for my shoulders, not realizing she was probably using it as a sex toy.

Story 7 · ×2
Author:
As a kid the author staged elaborate love stories for their toys, complete with breakups, makeups, and music to set the mood.
The story, as read on air (auto-transcribed)

I used to make all my toys have intense love stories with breakups, makeups, and passionate sex. All with music to enhance the situations.

Story 8 · ×2
Author:
For a birthday, instead of a toy, the author's mother bought them a real mannequin head so they could emulate wrestler Al Snow's 'Head' gimmick.
The story, as read on air (auto-transcribed)

One year for my birthday, instead of a toy, my mother bought me a mannequin head.

Final Board
  1. · Big Jay Oakerson
  2. · Kim Congdon
  3. · Luis J. Gomez
  4. · Sam Roberts
  5. · Uncle Lazer
Scoring notes
Confirmed vs ep 100 (Milestones) — 2 pts per detection, 1 per panelist deceived; "Double Points" from story 5 onward.
Toys Special Turns Childhood Nostalgia Into Interrogation Room — The WarzBoard